Dry January Downgraded To ‘Moist’
2020-01-01
Dry January has been downgraded to moist across the country it has been revealed. Millions, who had started the New Year with the best of intentions were already eying up what’s left of the Christmas booze as their hangovers cleared and thinking “Sod it. One won’t hurt”.
Tom Alky from Rotherham summed up the feelings of many we spoke to this morning. “I fully intended doing Dry January this year, which is why I downed a shed load of booze over the festive period to prepare. It seemed like a good idea while I was drinking, but now I’ve realised that Dry January means not drinking… which is crap. Why would you want to do that? The Queen Mother lived to be 146 or something and she was a complete piss head.”
Not everyone had given up on the idea though. Reg Virtue from Chesterfield is determined to see it out and has already been out for a run this morning as well. “UnfortunatelyI slipped and pulled my buttock “ he told our reporter “I had to get the wife out to pick me up in the car. I’m layed up on the sofa watching Bargain Hunt now. It’s going to be a bastard long month.”
