Britain Expected To Hit ‘Peak Fat Jogger’ Later Today
2020-01-12
The number of fat joggers on the nation’s roads is expected to peak later today. A combination of some half decent weather, New Years resolutions and residual post Christmas guilt have come together to create the perfect storm.
A spokesperson for fat joggers everywhere told the Bugle “I’ve clapped some right timber on over Christmas and am mildly determined to do something about it this year. I was going to start January 1st but I was hung over, and then it was a bit cold. I’ve been out for a gruelling two-miler this morning and I’m celebrating with a Greggs sausage roll and a milky coffee now. You can overdo it I know, but I might go out again next week if it’s not raining or cold and I’m not too busy.
Experts predict that we will see a steep decline from peak fat jogger, starting next week, with numbers returning to normal levels by the end of the first week in February.
A year round jogger told The Bugle “I’ll be sorry to see them go. They’re making me look good.”
