Thunberg Tells Attenborough To ‘Step Aside Grandad’ As Climate Change Rivalry Boils Over
2020-01-16
On a day when Sir David Attenborough again warned of the dangers of global warming and the consequences of not taken action, the scale of rivalry between climate activists was laid all-too bare.
A clearly rattled Greta Thunberg urged Sir David to “Step aside Grandad” while Attenborough responded by pointing out that he was “warning everyone the world was turning to shit before she was a glint her dads left bollock.”
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“Greta thinks Attenborough is muscling in on her action” a source close to the teenager revealed “The way she sees it, he only started piping up big-style when she broke through. She thinks he’s riding on her coat tails and isn’t afraid to say so.”
A spokesperson for Sir David was unmoved when our reporter spoke to him, “Everyone knows that Dave is your go-to man if you want to know all the ways we are shagging the planet,” he said “and this Greta-come-lately needs to get real and show some respect. She might be head-honcho one day, but Dave is still where it’s at for now.”
A straw poll of polar bears, carried out on behalf of The Bugle revealed Attenborough to be marginally the more popular of the two on account of him potentially providing a bit more meat.
