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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-12-22

Death Knell To Replace Big Ben Bong On Brexit Day


Hopes that the UK leaving the EU on January 31st would be marked by the chimes of Big Ben were dashed this morning, after it was announced that the event will be marked by the tolling of the death knell instead.

The official reason given is that the cost of interrupting renovation work on the iconic tower is too high, but a government insider revealed the real reason for the move.  “We just think it’s more appropriate.” he told The Bugle. “We’re entering into an era of more open and transparent politics after all the lies and deceit and feel that the death knell gives people a more realistic idea of what to expect post-Brexit than the triumphant sounds of Big Ben.”

As The Bugle went to press, it was revealed that The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse have also been booked for the evening’s celebrations, having been persuaded to cancel a regular engagement in Barnsley.

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