Abbott Rumoured To Be Moonlighting In Dixons Carphone Accounts Department
2020-01-21
Both Dixons Carphone and MP Diane Abbott were forced to issue denials tonight after rumours spread that the Labour front bencher has been ‘moonlighting’ in the companies accounts department. The rumours started after the company released a report showing sales to have risen by 2% over Christmas, only to have to admit several hours later that they had got the figures the wrong way around and sales had actually fallen by 2%.
Retail analysts were quick to make the connection “This is classic Abbott,” said Rod Stockman from Mintel “We’ve heard very little from her since well before the election and now we know why. The crafty bugger has been coining it in at Dixons. It didn’t add up but it does now”
The MP for Hackney North issued a vehement denial when our reporter caught up with her as she sipped White Lightening from a brown paper bag on the tube. “I’m sick to the back teeth with this kind of thing” she said. “The £12 a week I get for being an MP is more than enough for anyone. And anyway, 2% is meaningless if you’re not going to say how many it’s out of.”
