Ikea store ‘unlikely to be clear of lost customers for six months’, leaked report reveals
2020-02-04
Ikea announced its first big store closure today, but The Bugle has discovered that the Coventry outlet isn’t expected to close its doors for the final time for at least six months. That’s according to a leaked report revealing that’s how long it’s expected to take for staff to find and repatriate all customers lost or hiding in the store.
A spokesperson for Ikea told the Bugle “Unfortunately the people of Coventry aren’t really big on furniture and therefore the location didn’t fit with our business model. We considered moving to a model based more around cheap beer, close combat equipment and recreational drugs, but it’s not really our area of expertise. We are now focussed on getting all the bewildered and sad individuals holed up somewhere in the store, back to their families.”
The customer rescue operation is expected to start in the next few days and will come as a blow to a number of families who are known to have set up home in the soft furnishing department.
