The Rotherham Bugle

A London-based low-skilled immigrant was said to be fearful for his job this morning, following the governments announcement that only highly skilled people will be accepted into the U.K workforce in post-Brexit Britain.

The immigrant, who was born in New York and can’t be named for comedic reasons, says that he never expected the new rules to apply to him. “I thought I was free and clear” he told The Bugle “But when I think about it I don’t actually have any skills that anyone needs – unless you count being able to spout totally implausible bullshit without any sense of embarrassment or shame. I’m not sure that’s going to cut it.

Maybe I should enrol on a plumbing course?”