There was disappointment in the Eastwood area of Rotherham this morning after it emerged that points accrued for overloading a passenger vehicle won’t count towards qualification to receive one of the new visas which will give the right to live and work in the UK. The government introduced their plans for a points-based visa system

The entire town of Barnsley looks set to be deported this evening, as the consequences of the new immigration points based system starts to emerge. Following Britain’s exit from the EU, anyone wishing to live and work in the UK must accumulate a minimum of 70 points to qualify for a visa . Points can

A London-based low-skilled immigrant was said to be fearful for his job this morning, following the governments announcement that only highly skilled people will be accepted into the U.K workforce in post-Brexit Britain. The immigrant, who was born in New York and can’t be named for comedic reasons, says that he never expected the new

Prime minister Boris Johnson was reported to be still trying to locate his wellies this morning. Mr Johnson had been hoping to visit some of the area’s devastated by the recent floods, but several days after the severe weather hit, he has still not been able to find his Le Chameau specials “Obviously he’s disappointed.”

Self-styled superforecaster Andrew Sabisky has hit back at the press this afternoon, over what he called ‘selectively quoting’  of the racist bits from his social media output. Mr Sabisky also expressed concern over the selective quoting of the Nazi bits as well. Sabisky was forced to resign today, less than a week into his new

Following the unexpected ratings success of The Masked Singer, ITV are understood to be working on a number of spin-off shows to capitalise on the trend, featuring washed-up and desperate celebrities. First in the production line is The Masked Minger. The Bugle understands Katie Price and Katie Hopkins have already been approached to participate and

There was confusion at the centre of government again this afternoon after Prime Minister Boris Johnson employed an advisor with a special interest in Eugenics to help him get fit. The Bugle understands that Mr Johnson has piled on the pounds during his free Christmas holiday in the Caribbean and is open to trying something

A British couple, who are currently under quarantine on the cruise ship Diamond Princess in Japan, are expected to be airlifted to 1956 later today afer expressing a desire to be treated by English speaking medical staff. David Abel, a self-confessed staunch Tory, says that he and wife Sally wants to be treated by doctors

Prime Minister Boris Johnson is understood to be giving serious consideration this morning, to a proposal by the Chinese National Railway Company to complete the HS2 project within 5 years and at a much reduced cost. According to sources, the company say they can have the railway up and running by 2025 as opposed to

Virtual unknown Rishi Sunak was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer this morning following the resignation of Sajid Javid. The appointment follows a frantic meeting with aides in which the Prime Minister was heard to yell ‘Look just get me another one, but with hair this time.” It’s not known exactly what Mr Johnson was referring