Boris faces challenge of balancing demands of being a new father with inclination to do f*** all
2020-03-01
Boris Johnson is this morning facing the challenge of balancing the demands of being a new father with his natural inclination to do f*** all after it was announced that his girlfriend is pregnant.
The Prime Minister, who hasn’t been seen in public for several weeks, is said to be delighted with the news, but is concerned that the new child may interfere with his ability to do just what the f*** he likes.
“Boris vaguely remembers some small people running about the house when he was married before” an insider told The Bugle “so he has some idea what having children might mean. He had been hoping that becoming Prime Minister might be a natural step to ease him into retirement, so all this has come as a bit of a shock. We’ll just have to see how it works out.”
As The Bugle went to press, Mr Johnson was understood to be consulting Jacob Rees Mogg on nanny recommendations.
