Priti Patel responds to bullying accusations by administering ‘dead leg’
2020-03-02
Home secretary, Pritti Patel, has reacted to bullying claims by Sir Philip Rutnam by administering a Chinese burn to the left arm of the top civil servant before giving him a dead leg as he left a ‘clear the air’ meeting this morning. Sir Philip, the Home Office’s permanent secretary, resigned on Saturday after accusing Patel of orchestrating a vicious campaign against him, and of creating a climate of fear in her department.
An insider told The Bugle ‘Priti can be very forthright and has been known to refer to Sir Philip as ‘specky four eyes’ and ‘baldy’ but she takes the view that he’s just being over-sensitive. Yes she did trip him up on College Green and make him eat grass, but it had been a long day. There have been absolutely no instances of blood spilt or calls to emergency services.”
Westminster insiders say that an internal enquiry is now inevitable, with special attention expected to be focussed on a fresh turd found in Sir Philip’s briefcase.
