The time-proven instinct of Italians to surrender at the first sign of any difficulty is still alive and well. The Italian government last night announced the closure of all schools and colleges in the country  in the wake of the Coronavirus, even in areas where there is little or no sign of the virus. A

Scientists say they have traced back the original source of the Coronavirus outbreak to Greta Thunberg’s anorak. It had originally been thought that exotic animals sold for food in Chinese markets were the source of the virus, but swabs taken from the 17-year-old Norwegians grubby coat have told the real story. “That thing is minging,”