Greta Thunberg’s scruffy anorak ‘ground zero for Coronavirus’ say scientists
2020-03-05
Scientists say they have traced back the original source of the Coronavirus outbreak to Greta Thunberg’s anorak. It had originally been thought that exotic animals sold for food in Chinese markets were the source of the virus, but swabs taken from the 17-year-old Norwegians grubby coat have told the real story.
“That thing is minging,” said Professor Ivor Labkote from Virus’s-R-Us who carried out the tests “but we were shocked when the test results came back. The hood alone contained enough virus to infect a town the size of Burnley.”
Experts are now working on the theory that the virus may have developed spontaneously in the anorak as an overflow of self-righteous indignation mixed with unpolluted air and then bred rapidly in the unwashed garment. It was then spread across the world as Thunberg travelled the globe sharing her message of impending Armageddon.
“I thought Thunberg should self-isolate before,” said Professor Labkote, but now I’m sure of it.”
