Bog roll salesmen the new rock stars, says survey
2020-03-09
After years of being ridiculed for their job, bog roll salesmen have emerged as ‘the new rock stars’ in a new survey of occupations.
Where previous generations yearned to front a headline band or play centre forward for Manchester United, today’s youngsters look with envious eyes at the commission-based rep with the Andrex account at a Brexit-voting constituency branch of Morrisons. Youngsters in the survey said they were attracted by the money, the glamour and the opportunities for fast and easy sex.
“It’s true, I’m beating the birds off with a shitty stick” said Grant Clunge, an Andrex rep for the south Yorkshire area. “As soon as they spot the soft and quilted samples in the back of the Vectra they’re on me like a rash. I struggle to do my job some days and arrive home exhausted. I’m like the Mick Jagger of disposable paper products.”
Grant says that it’s only the bulky nature of his core product that is preventing him switching the Vectra for a Ferrari. “I’d love to get one before people come to their senses” he told The Bugle, “But it’s just not practical.”
