The Covid-19 virus has given twats up and down the country, the perfect excuse not to visit grandparents and other ageing relatives it emerges. Twats who would otherwise have felt duty bound to call on parents, grandparents and other older members of the family, have been given a killer get-out and are milking it for

A tight bastard who went out and panic bought 150 toilet rolls is now out panic buying laxatives, it has emerged. Kenny Clunge, 58, bought the toilet rolls last week when he saw others buying them and thought he might miss out, but now he is sitting looking at a huge pile of ‘Netto budget