Social climbers aim to impress by inviting neighbours’ round for a shit
2020-03-17
Social climbers, desperate to make a good impression, have taken to inviting neighbours’ round for a shit, it has been revealed. In the past, those wishing to make a favourable impression on friends and neighbours would organise a dinner party or wine and cheese evening, but all that has given way to the once humble tom tit.
“It’s all to do with showing off your bog roll stash” society analyst Tanya Balls-Quick told The Bugle. “If you’ve got a fresh delivery of luxury quilted you want to show it off and what better way than inviting people round to drop their guts in your downstairs lavvy.”
“I thought it was a bit odd when my next door neighbour invited me round for a swift evacuation” said Frank Clunge from Barnsley “But it all became clear when I dropped my trolleys and spotted six rolls piled up all casual like – no lock on it or owt. Bastard’s just a show off.”
As The Bugle went to press Frank was taking full advantage and had made a return visit following an encounter with a particularly enthusiastic Vindaloo.
