Haircuts now taking place in silence as holiday plans off the agenda
2020-03-19
Hairdressers throughout the land have been rendered mute as there’s no longer any point asking clients about their holiday plans, it has been revealed.
Page one of The Shit Hairdressers Manual spells out very clearly that the opening gambit of any conversation with a client should always be “So…where are you going on your holidays?” This inevitably leads into a vacuous discussion about the relative merits of Benidorm and some God forsaken Greek island hell-hole. Before anyone knows what’s happened the client is walking out the door, having paid scant attention to the horrors that have unfolded with the scissors.
“We’re going to have to be a lot more careful now.” said Tracey Clunge, a hairdresser from Barnsley. “There’s nowt to say now, and so they just watch what you’re doing in the mirror. You can’t even ask ‘em what they’re doing at the weekend because the answers ‘f*** all’.”
Analysts believe that this new method of working may well have positive long term benefits and reduce the number of people walking around who look like they’ve been attacked by a psychopath wielding a hedge trimmer.
