Barnsley man looking for new way to start pub fight after nobody allowed close enough to spill his pint
2020-07-03
A Barnsley man who was looking forward to the pubs opening again tomorrow, has been left reeling after realising that social distancing means nobody will be allowed close enough to spill his pint.
Barry Clunge, 47, from Wombwell , has used having some of his pint accidentally spilled by another drinker as a precursor to mindless violence for over three decades now. It wasn’t until this morning that it dawned on him that it would be impossible for people staying a metre away to leave any of his pint of Tetleys on the pub carpet.
“I’m gutted” said Barry, speaking through someone fluent in Dinglish. “I mean, you can’t just punch some bloke in the face while hurling vile obscenities for no reason. Losing the froth off my pint after receiving a nudge to the elbow gave me that reason, but no longer. This has really taken the shine off the pubs reopening for me.”
As we went to press, Barry was exploring other avenues including taking grave offence to anyone who might be “looking at him a bit funny.”
