Burglars forced to rethink wardrobe now everyone wearing masks
2020-07-23
The nations burglars are being forced into an urgent rethink of their workplace attire this morning as the compulsory wearing of masks looms.
Masks have been the exclusive preserve of wrong uns for centuries, but the change in the law, precipitated by Covid-19 means that even fine upstanding members of the public will be wearing face coverings from tomorrow. It means that scroats, scallies and robbing scumbags are going to need to have a rethink if they’re to stand out from the crowd.
“It’s come as a bit of a blow to be honest” said one ne’r do well who asked not to be named “I never had to think about what I was wearing before. How can I hold my head up high knowing I’m wearing what the government tells me? The coppers wouldn’t like it if everyone started wearing a tit-head hat, I can tell you that.”
The Bugle understands that a number of ideas have been floated to tackle the issue including the reintroduction of black and white striped shirts and sacks with the word ‘Swag’ written on them.
