BeerMonster1984 emerges as UK’s number one expert on vaccine safety
2020-12-03
The scientific community was thrown into turmoil this morning after it emerged that the nations number one expert on vaccine safety is BeerMonster1984, a Twitter user from Bolton.
BeerMonster1984 has made clear that he will not be having the new Pfizer Coronavirus virus because “It’s not safe and they’re just using it to control us.” The Bugle understands that Beermonster1984 has a calendar, understands the passage of time and has concluded that a period shorter than that which he normally takes to get around to cutting his grass, is too short for ‘no-nuts eggheads’ to develop a life-saving vaccine. He says his considered view is backed up by the likes of Tommo74, ShitWeazle101 and myriad other Twitter experts from around the UK.
“I’m not putting that shit in my body” Beermonster1984 told The Bugle as he downed a can of Special Brew while munching on a burger van hotdog, “It’s not safe and they’re not telling me what to do. I’ve got principals and I’m sticking to them. The only way I’ll compromise them is if they say I can’t fly to Benidorm for the lads weekend in May if I don’t have the jab. I’m not f****** missing that for nothing.”
