Johnson to introduce ‘Hold Your Breath To Save The NHS’ slogan within days
2021-01-03
With Coronavirus cases continuing to rise at an alarming rate in some parts of the country, The Bugle understands that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is set to scrap the current ‘Hands-Face Space’ slogan and replace it with ‘Hold Your Breath To Save The NHS’.
A government insider, speaking off the record, told our reporter “We think this is a real winner. It’s short, it’s catchy and it nearly rhymes. And it makes perfect sense. This virus is passed on by people breathing. The less they do of it, the less chance there is for them to pass it on. Simples”
Although details are sketchy at the moment, we understand that several protocols are being considered including one minute off – one minute on, and a more radical programme that would only allow breathing every other day. The insider we spoke to was dismissive of concerns that some people might die through lack of oxygen.
“Yes, some people are going to find this challenging at first” he said “but they’ll soon get used to it. And anyone who finds it too much will simply pass out and start breathing normally again. Very few are going to die, and those that do will help keep the Covid numbers down. It’s hard to see a downside.”
