Man Who Received Christmas Card From Wife Saying ‘May All Your Dreams Come True’ Hadn’t Been Dreaming Of Socks
2017-12-25
A Rotherham man has spoken of his distress this morning, after his wife’s Christmas card, handed over just a few days ago, led to profound disappointment. The card read ‘may all your dreams come true’, but 52 year-old Colin Butcher says he wasn’t dreaming of socks, a Terry’s chocolate orange or some novelty boxer shorts that may have fitted him in 1987, but not now.
“When I saw the card, I was excited” he told us, “I was thinking a Porsche, a Rolex and maybe even a blow job. The first two haven’t been forthcoming this morning and the third looks a complete non starter. The in-laws are coming round later. Try fitting that into a game of charades.”
Colin’s wife Barbara was unrepentant as we caught up with her as she boiled the last few vitamins out of the Christmas sprouts. “What can I say?” she said, “It was the last card in the shop. And anyway, it’s just a trite insincere nod to goodwill rather than any kind of declaration of intention. To be fair to Colin, the card he sent to me which said ‘ Merry Christmas Old Bird’ with a picture of a geriatric turkey on it, built no expectations whatsoever, and these were met perfectly by the gift of a discounted Aldi bath set which he kindly gave me this morning.”
The couples daughter, Louise, has bought the pair separate preliminary family law solicitors appointments, which they will both be taking up in the New Year.
