Pensioner Who Forgot To Buy Muesli Diagnosed With Alpenzheimer’s Disease
2018-04-09
In an event concocted purely so that a second rate online reporter was able to squeeze out a dodgy pun, a pensioner who forgot to buy Muesli has apparently been diagnosed with Alpenzheimer’s disease. Details are sketchy at this time, as might be expected under the circumstances.
Sheridan Weaselback, chief reporter at The Rotherham Bugle was contrite when we caught up with him as he desperately scratched around for something proper to write about. “I would like to apologise unreservedly for the quality of this piece.” he said. “It exists solely as a vehicle for delivering a pun of questionable quality. Whilst most of my articles are concocted for comedic effect, there is usually an underlying basis in the form of a link to a genuine news story or an exaggerated observation of human behaviour. There is no such underlying basis with this. It’s just a pun that made me smile when I thought of it this morning, which as anyone will tell you who knows me, is a rare event.”
The Bugle management team have disciplined Weaselback and as we went to press he had been tasked with finding stories that make Jeremy Corbin or Boris Johnson look like twats as usual.
