The Rotherham Bugle

You don’t have to be racist or sexist to think Diane Abbott is an incompetent buffoon, a top academic has revealed. The shadow Home Secretary once again made a tit of herself this week, when in a bumbling interview on Good Morning Britain about immigration, she achieved the seemingly impossible, and made Piers Morgan look good.

At first it was thought that anyone criticising Abbott must be a racist at least, and very probably a sexist as well. But Professor Ivor Balance from the Institute of Equality Studies said “Nope, she made a complete arse of herself again. It’s as simple as that.  Most people don’t give a stuff about her ethnicity, but they do care if she can’t answer a simple question competently. Racism is a convenient crutch for those seeking to excuse her incompetence, and to claim it in this case is an insult to people experiencing genuine racism.”

A spokesperson for lefties everywhere said “It’s just racist, sexist and fattest. You wouldn’t get a skinny white man getting this kind of abuse – apart from Jacob Rees Mogg – but he’s a Tory and  went to public school as well, so deserves all he gets…the bony posh twat.”