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2024-09-19

Corbyn Cashes In On Captain Birdseye Effect


 

It should have been a rout, but it didn’t work out like that.  Despite the mismanagement of the Brexit process, the Windrush scandal and the general air of incompetence and disarray surrounding the Theresa May government, Jeremy Corbyn almost ended up in the sea, as he made a desperate dash to the only local council area that  Labour were able to take from the Tories this morning.

A spokesperson for the party said, “We were always confident of taking Plymouth. Jews are pretty thin on the ground and the locals are partial to a gnarled old  bloke with an unkempt beard. Captain Birdseye is like David Beckham down there.”

The Diane Abbott Factor was also  thought to be a factor in the victory.  “She came down here to canvas” said a local party worker, “Most of the locals have never seen a black person before so it was a bit of a novelty for them. They were just staring at her open mouthed and didn’t hear a word she said. That helped.”

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