Teenagers Set To Grind To Complete Halt As Energy Drink Ban Looms
2018-08-30
UK teenagers are expected to grind to a complete halt if a proposed ban on the sale of so-called energy drinks to the under 18’s goes ahead. That’s the concern of both parents and employers this morning.
The sale of the drinks could be banned in England to anybody under 18, amid fears that the high levels of caffeine and sugar lead to obesity and behavioural issues. But parents and employers are concerned that taking away the drinks could have catastrophic consequences.
Tom Power from Mexborough spoke for a number of parents of teenagers we interviewed, “I can’t get the idle little bastard up as it is,” he said “and it’s only a shot of Red Bull that gets him out of his stinking pit. Take that away and he’ll just lay there and fester.”
And employers are worried too. “Most teenagers move at the pace of a slug with mobility issues.” said Richard Head from the Chamber Of Commerce. “If this ban goes ahead, I can see massive queues forming around the block at Macdonalds and Sports Direct customers having to leave the shop without being hassled to buy a pissing bag for life for a quid. It’s a big worry.”
We tried to get the view of a teenager prior to publication, but were unable to find one out of bed in time for our 11.00am deadline.
