The Rotherham Bugle

Donald Trump was rushed to a Washington hospital last night following a heated exchange at a White House press conference with CNN reporter Jim Acosta. During the exchange Mr Trump called Mr Acosta “a rude and horrible person” and then banned the reporter from the Whitehouse for what was described as “putting his hands on a young woman.”

The Bugle understands that it was immediately after describing touching a woman as “unacceptable” that the President was taken ill and rushed to The Decency Memorial Hospital in downtown Washington where his condition was described as ‘bollocksed’.

A spokesperson from the hospital said this morning “The President was brought in here last night following an extreme irony overdose. He has a high irony tolerance but calling someone rude and horrible and then making the comment about touching a women just tipped him over the edge. We expect him to make a full recovery though, and there are medical staff in with him now, polishing up his brass neck as we speak.”