Ryanair Staff Become Aroused At Sight Of An Oversized Bag, Claims Study
2018-12-19
Ryanair check-in staff become sexually aroused at the sight of an oversized or overweight bag a new study has revealed. Professor Rob Cash from the Institute of Applied Bolloxology, who headed up the study, says he’s unsure whether the job attracts people with such a pre-disposition, or whether it’s something that develops during training, but the effect is undeniable.
“We attached sensors to the genitalia of check in staff and saw a definite reaction when they spotted a passenger carrying a bag that appeared to fall outside of the size or weight restrictions.” Said Professor Cash. “To put it bluntly, it’s a good job they do the job sitting down.”
“It’s true” said Tom Mince who works on Ryanair check in at Manchester airport. “You see them standing in the queue with a bulky bag, without a care in the world, and it’s like a tidal wave you can’t control. You know that within two minutes you’re going to have them on their hands and knees trying to offload their shit into someone else’s case or fumbling about for their credit card to fork out double what the actual flight cost. It’s a massive turn on. It’s why I do the job.”
Professor Cash says he got the idea to carry out the research after witnessing a similar reaction from car park attendants, traffic officers and back street car mechanics.
