L.A Rams Player Blames God Almighty For Superbowl Defeat
2019-02-04
An American footballer says that he blames God for his teams defeat at the hands of the New England Patriots in last nights Super Bowl. Ivor Helmet, a tight buttock for the LA Rams, had previously thanked God after victories that had seen the team reach the final, but gave a damning appraisal of the almighty’s performance on this most recent occasion.
“First of all I have to blame God almighty for that defeat,” he told The Bugle. “If he’d got his arse into gear we’d probably have had the strength and tenacity to win. It just goes to show that everyone lets you down eventually, even God.”
Helmet’s comments came as a refreshing change to a group of cynical fans who have become sceptical about God having the time, or inclination, to take sides in an essentially meaningless sporting contest between two sets of steroid-enhanced dullards, existing purely as a vehicle to sell people more shit that they don’t need.
