Jogger With Tape Holding Knees Together Still Insisting It’s Doing Him Good
2019-05-20
A jogger who shuffles along with thick strapping holding his knees together is still maintaining it’s doing him good, it has emerged.
Terry Bell (49) from Rotherham, has been running for decades but years of pounding the pavements have worn his joints to dust and left him with a body and face reminiscent of a decaying corpse. Despite evidence to the contrary, Terry is adamant that his regime is providing health benefits.
“Okay my knees are shot and I’m on the waiting list for a hip replacement” he told the Bugle “but I’m the same weight as Mo Farrah and have the resting heart rate of a 20 year old.”
Not everyone is convinced though “He might be the same weight as Mo Farrah” said wife Jean “But I bet Mo Farrah can put his own bastard socks on. Same resting heart rate as a 20 year old? Maybe, but he falls asleep every afternoon in the middle of Judge Rinder. And don’t get me started on joggers bollock.”
As the Bugle went to press, Terry was busy preparing for his next marathon…or a slow and painful death, whichever comes first.
