Hunt Promises To Reintroduce Rickets As ‘Part Of British Heritage’
2019-07-04
Tory leadership contender Jeremy Hunt has pledged to reintroduce rickets to the UK should he become Prime Minister. The move is likely to play out well with Tory party members who have become increasingly frustrated by the unbowed nature of the working classes in recent years.
Charles Shite-Head, 104, spoke for a number of members contacted by The Bugle when he said, “I think it’s important that we maintain the traditions that have survived through many generations, and it’s much easier to sort the wheat from the chaff when you have a stunted and bow legged underclass. Yes, it’s extremely unpleasant for a small minority who are affected but on the positive side, we’ll be doing what we’ve always done, and that’s what being a Conservative is all about.”
The pledge on rickets is one of a raft of heritage-saving measures promised by Hunt, including free access to Polio in all local swimming pools, Syphilis on demand, and a free vote in the commons on the re-introduction of fox hunting.
