Brexiteers Checking Out Fees For Eton
2019-08-31
Grateful Brexiteers are said to be checking out the fees for Eton this weekend following the sterling work carried out by old boys Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg in putting the state educated plebs in parliament firmly in their place. Terry Towling from Barnsley was typical of working class Brexit supporters who we spoke to last week.
“I used to despise the arrogant privileged elite and everything they stood for” he told The Bugle “I would have fought them with my dying breath. But credit where credits due, they’ve stuck it to them plebs in parliament and brought bendy bananas, blue passports and less black faces at Tesco’s one step closer. It shows the value of a good education. I was interested for our Tarquin but unfortunately it costs more a year than I earn. Still, if you can afford it, it’s money well spent. I can see that now.”
As The Bugle went to press, Prime Minister Johnson announced finance plans that will ensure every state school will have both a teacher and a roof by the end of 2020. “I think that’s very generous” said Terry tugging his forelock. “And if he delivers Brexit, I’ll be inviting him round for a spot of afternoon delight with Mrs Towling. He deserves it”
