The Rotherham Bugle

Pizza Express announced today that they have added an upper crust Pizza to their new menu to run alongside their stuffed crust range.  The new pizza is understood to have a wafer-thin base, coated in a thick oily covering. It will be topped with cheese and copious amounts of bullshit.

“This is a completely new departure for us.“ a company spokesman told The Bugle. “We’ve never tried upper crust before or bullshit as a topping. Quite frankly, we’re not sure whether people will swallow it , and we’ve been advised against it, it but it’s got to be worth a try. What’s the worst that can happen?”

As The Bugle went to press, the upper crust pizza had been put on sale  but nobody appeared to have bought it.