Furious Queen Challenges Meghan To a ‘Straightener’ In Palace Car Park
2020-01-10
A clearly incenced Queen Elizabeth II has challenged Meghan Markel to a straightner in the palace car park it has emerged. The unprecedented move comes at the end of a week when Meghan and husband Harry unilaterally announced that they plan to become part-time royals and live half the year overseas.
A palace insider told The Bugle “Her Majesty is convinced that Harry is thinking with his gonads, and she’s having none of it. She’s put the word out that she wants to sort it once and for all, one to one. No weapons or seconds. Just the two of them. Fight to the finish. A proper good old-fashioned straightener.”
Royal watchers say they expect the public to be a little concerned for the 93 year old monarch, but there is no cause for alarm. “She’s still got plenty left in the locker” our palace insider confided. “Meghan may have youth on her side, but she’ll be no match for the wily old campaigner once the knees and elbows start going in. She might as well book an appointment with her dentist now.”
