‘Like It Makes Any F****ing Difference Now’, say middle-aged men everywhere
2020-02-07
Middle-aged men everywhere are seething this morning after Phillip Schofield implied his sexuality makes any f***ing difference at the age of 57. The popular married daytime presenter had earlier come out as gay for the first time.
Ted Bovis from Rotherham, who is the same age as Schofield, was typical of those we spoke to this morning. “I can’t see it any more and I can barely remember what it’s for” he told The Bugle “And even if I could, nobody would be interested in doing owt with it. I might as well say I was a natuaral striker after always playing at centre half. I’m not going to get a game now so why bore everyone with it?”
As The Bugle went to press, Schofield was understood to be digesting the implications of switching sides after the fourth official has already put the board up for two minutes extra time.
