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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-11-21

Rawmarsh Woman In Sofa Delivery Nightmare


A Rawmarsh woman says she is  unable to sleep `at night and  is suffering from panic attacks after receiving the devastating news that she won’t be able to get her new sofa delivered before Christmas.

Maureen Todd from Ingshead Avenue ordered the  new sofa from Shit Stuff On Tick in Parkgate two weeks ago. “I automatically assumed it would be delivered before Christmas “ she told us “because everybody has to have their new sofa delivered before Christmas. Its traditional, like a turkey. So imagine my horror when they rang to say it would be first week in January at the earliest.”

Maureen now fears being subject to ridicule from her friends and family when they visit over the festive period, only to discover she has exactly the same sofa as last year “It’s humiliating,” she said “a new sofa shows you’re making a success of your life and provides an interesting talking point at Christmas. Now everyone will have me down as a loser who’s achieved nothing this year. And the conversation is just going to dry up. What do you talk about if you don’t have any new soft furnishings?”

Maureen’s husband Tony is more positive about the situation though, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about” he told us “You have all sorts of scruffy gets coming round at Christmas dropping  crisps, drinks and party food down the back of your sofa. I’d rather have it in January when all the buggers have gone home for another year. And anyway, we’ve still got the new 65 inch telly as an ice breaker.”

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