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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-11-23

Market for shampoo now totally dependent on FaceTime and Zoom



The precarious state of the market for shampoo and other personal grooming products was laid bare this morning after it was revealed that is now almost totally reliant on the existence of FaceTime and Zoom. A report from The Institute Of Soap and That revealed that since the lockdown hair washing is only taking place in preparation for some kind of video call over social media.

“There’s no kinder way of putting it, we’ve turned into a nation of skanks” said Professor Ivor Quiff who headed up the study. “If broadband went down, demand for shampoo would go through the floor.”

The situation in Barnsley looks even more bleak for the industry where even the social media generation have stopped using shampoo “There’s no point” said Tracey Clunge from Wombwell “If you wash your hair it just shows up your roots. I just wear lots of hats now.”

The report also highlighted a slump in sales of deodorant, the absence of which is thought to help significantly with social distancing.



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