PM expected to ‘follow the science’ and ease restrictions on extra-marital bunk ups
2020-05-07
With the UK lockdown now in its seventh week, the cabinet are meeting in Downing Street this morning to discuss the next steps, and an easing of restrictions placed on UK citizens. The Prime Minister has been consistent in his view that we should be guided by the science and with that in mind it is thought highly likely that restrictions on extra-marital bunk ups will be lifted with immediate effect – particularly if you’re gagging for it.
“That Professor Neil Ferguson is responsible for having us all locked up for the past seven weeks” Joe Public told The Bugle, “So I think we need to be guided by him, what with him being a clever scientific fella and that. So if he thinks it’s okay to ship a bit of young stuff across town for a session of ‘how’s-your-father’ then I think we should listen to him.”
The Bugle understands that Prime Minister is thought to be in favour of lifting the restriction, partly because of his adherence to being guided by the science, and partly because his girlfriend is ‘out of action’ at the moment.
