Man who refers to his car as ‘she’ confirmed to be a Dick
2020-12-19
A man who refers to his mid-life crisis two seater sports car as ‘she’ is a complete dick it has been revealed.
Terry Towling, who has also been known to use the term ‘the old girl’ and to refer to his collection of cars – comprising a Mazda MX5 and a Ford Focus – as ‘his stable’, was confirmed to be a total tool by his wife, friends and workmates last night.
“This comes as no surprise to me,” said professor Hans Alover from the Institutue of Dickery and Twattery studies, “anyone who uses a gender pronoun to refer to an inanimate object, immediately self-identifies as some kind of twat. The use of words like ‘stable’ in connection with collections of such objects, only confirms it.
Terry was both unapolegetic and unrepentant when we caught up with him as he lovingly polished his wing mirrors. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” he told our reporter “I like to get in and give her a good thrashing till she screams for mercy. What else would I call her.”
