Queen challenges Meghan to ‘straightener’ in palace car park
2021-03-10
A clearly furious Queen Elizabeth II has challenged Meghan Markel to a straightner in the palace car park it has emerged. The unprecedented move comes at the end of a week when Meghan and husband Harry gave an interview to an Ian Wright look-alike, in which they accused members of the royal household of racism and bullying.
A palace insider told The Bugle “Her Majesty is convinced that Harry is thinking with his gonads, and she’s having none of it. She’s put the word out that she wants to sort it once and for all, one to one. No weapons or seconds. Just the two of them. Fight to the finish. A proper good old-fashioned straightener.”
Royal watchers say they expect the public to be a little concerned for the 94 year old monarch, but there is no cause for alarm. “She’s still got plenty left in the locker” our palace insider confided. “Meghan may have youth on her side, but she’ll be no match for the wily old campaigner once the knees and elbows start going in. She might as well book an appointment with her dentist now.”
