The Rotherham Bugle

A Thurcroft man has stunned local employers and employment experts by submitting a series of job applications which don’t include the phrase ‘I can work on my own initiative or as part of a team.’ The Bugle understands that Stuart Thicker, 34 has made over a dozen job applications without making the ubiquitous boast.

“We’ve never seen anything like it, ” said Judith Stubbs from Rotherham Borough Council Human Resources department, who advertised one of the jobs Stuart applied for, “Everybody claims they can do that. It’s the law.” And Tony Taylor from Rotherham Chamber Of  Commerce agrees, “It’s a default inclusion on every CV” he told us “It’s like not bothering with your name and address. I don’t know what he’s thinking about.”

Stuart defended his applications when we caught up with him buying some fruit and veg in Rotherham market this week  “I’m alright if you stick me with a load of other people, somebody tells me what to do, and I can hide away” he said “But put me on my own and ask me to do something, and you might as well employ that Turnip over there for all the use I’d be. There’s no point in building up false expectations.”

And Stuart claims his CV is different in other ways as well “It doesn’t say I’m flexible and hardworking because I’m not.” he said, “And it doesn’t say I like swimming and reading, because I don’t.” There are even gaps in his work history which he hasn’t bothered to fill by pretending he’s worked at some places for much longer than he has.

A spokesperson for Rotherham job centre was incensed when we showed her some of Stuarts applications “This man should have his benefits stopped.” she said “If he can’t be bothered to lie, exaggerate and cheat in his applications like everyone else, he’s never going to get a job.”