The Rotherham Bugle

Brexit has been a pathetic failure it has emerged, after a group of “foreign looking Herberts” were spotted brazenly walking around Rotherham town centre.

As the final details of the EU exit continue to be hammered out, it was just the latest in a  whole series of incidents which showed that Brexit has failed to deliver the outcome that many Brexiteers  were hoping for.

There have been unconfirmed reports of “swarthy looking buggers” working in a wide variety of jobs throughout the borough, while rumours of other “non English types” claiming benefits, remain rife. One eagle eyed reader even spotted a “dark skinned man” openly driving a taxi.

“I’m not a racist” said one Brexit voting local man who asked not to be named “but I really thought something would have been done about it by now. Everything is more expensive and I can’t afford to go on holiday, but the least I expected was a clamp down on foreign looking types wearing daft clothes, talking funny and taking our jobs and that.”

When our reporter pointed out that it was possible that none of these people have any connection with our EU membership, he was unrepentant, “That’s the trouble with foreign looking types” he said, “You can’t tell  ‘em apart just by looking at ‘em.  I blame the government. They should be made to wear badges or special hats or summat, so we can identify the bad foreigners from the English type ones. Some of them are quite nice. You can even talk to them and that.”