A Barnsley man has come out as completely binary and has asked to be addressed by the pronouns Thee and Thy. Pete Postlethump, 47, writing on the Notice Board of The Barnsley & District Cribbage League said, “It’s been a lifelong complete lack of struggle and I am embracing who I am. I’m a bloke.

A Barnsley pensioner was able to hear music and birdsong for the first time in three decades this week, after finally being persuaded to trim his ear hair. Fred Tattylugs, from Wombwell, went deaf 30 years ago at just about the same time as he went bald and decided to grow his ear hair out

A pint of sambuca is now the most popular drink ordered by parents in a Barnsley Wetherspoons, a survey has  revealed. The survey results come in the wake of news that the company are now limiting parents to two alcoholic drinks each if they have their children with them. The chain say that the move

Staff at all the UK national newspapers were enjoying an unexpected week off today as it emerged that all the front pages and main editorial were created by utilising the find and replace functions in Word. The  Coronavirus, which has so far affected about the same number of people you might get in a medium

Barnsley was declared totally safe from the new Coronavirus this afternoon after it emerged that nobody either visits or leaves the town. As concerns about the virus grew, local residents were told they could rest easy. “The chances of anyone catching the virus in Barnsley are practically zero.” said a spokesperson for Health England “Nobody

The new series of Little Britain, announced earlier this week, has been renamed Little England, with a host of zany new characters. Creators David Walliams and Matt Lucas say they want the new series to be more representative of the UK in 2020. Gone are the likes of ‘wheelchair bound’ Andy and the only gay

The determination of Meghan Markle to forge financial independence for herself and Harry was laid bare for all to see this afternoon when she was overheard threatening to shit in Katy Perry’s handbag. The former Duchess of Sussex was said to be furious after Perry’s fiancé, Orlando Bloom, was given the job of voicing her

The Harry formerly known as Prince has been urged to consider his carbon footprint and stay the f*** where he is now that he’s returned to Canada to be reunited with his wife and son. Harry and Meghan have expressed a desire to split their time between Canada and the UK, but a straw poll

Both Dixons Carphone and MP Diane Abbott were forced to issue denials tonight after rumours spread that the Labour front bencher has been ‘moonlighting’ in the companies accounts department. The rumours started after the company released a report showing sales to have risen by 2% over Christmas, only to have to admit several hours later

Barnsley high society was rocked to its core this afternoon, after a local couple dropped  the bombshell announcement that they intend to take a step back from frontline benefits and move towards becoming financially independent. Social commentators say the move is virtually unprecedented in local circles and are scratching their heads to work out how