A Barnsley man who regularly drinks 8 pints a night has announced ambitious plans to reposition himself as a craft ale connoisseur. Barry Lard, 48, from Wombwell says he is sick of being seen as a piss head and feels his hobby is misunderstood. “People see me staggering home after a skin-full and assume I’m

There was an indication that the producers of The Simpsons have listened to criticism of racial stereotyping this morning, when it was announced that English thespian Nigel Havers will henceforth be the voice of convenience-store owner Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. The news comes after the original actor, Hank Azaria said he will no longer provide the voice

Hopes that the UK leaving the EU on January 31st would be marked by the chimes of Big Ben were dashed this morning, after it was announced that the event will be marked by the tolling of the death knell instead. The official reason given is that the cost of interrupting renovation work on the

On a day when Sir David Attenborough again warned of the dangers of global warming and the consequences of not taken action, the scale of rivalry between climate activists was laid all-too bare. A clearly rattled Greta Thunberg urged Sir David to “Step aside Grandad” while Attenborough responded by pointing out that he was “warning

The number of fat joggers on the nation’s roads is expected to peak later today. A combination of some half decent weather, New Years resolutions and residual post Christmas guilt have come together to create the perfect storm. A spokesperson for fat joggers everywhere told the Bugle “I’ve clapped some right timber on over Christmas

A clearly incenced Queen Elizabeth II has challenged Meghan Markel to a straightner in the palace car park it has emerged. The unprecedented move comes at the end of a week when Meghan and husband Harry unilaterally announced that they plan to become part-time royals and live half the year overseas. A palace insider told

A Barnsley man’s new year weight loss and fitness goals were left in tatters this morning after he forgot his kit. Eighteen stone Geoff Lard, 36 from Wombwell had pledged to make 2020 the year he finally took control of his health and fitness, and had put everything in place to make it happen, including

Dry January has been downgraded to moist across the country it has been revealed. Millions, who had started the New Year with the best of intentions were already eying up what’s left of the Christmas booze as their hangovers cleared and thinking “Sod it. One won’t hurt”. Tom Alky from Rotherham summed up the feelings

Telegraph journalist Allison Pearson was sticking to her story this morning after announcing on her Twitter feed that June Whitfield has sadly passed away. The news came as a surprise to friends, family and fans who were pretty sure that the Terry & June star had already died at the end of 2018. “I don’t

Graduates will be able to find out exactly how much shit they’re in under an overhaul of the accounts system for student loans announced today. A new online repayment service is due to start in 2020, which will allow former students to get up-to-date information on how close to retirement they might be before they