The world has rightly taken centurian Captain Tom Moore to its heart this week, but Barnsley had a heartwarming tale of its own as it was revealed that a 92 year old pensioner is defying Covid-19 and still continuing to do his own shoplifting despite the lockdown. Sid Clunge from Wombwell did his first term

Government officials were cautiously optimistic that the worst may be over last night after, after it emerged that we look to be the past the peak of shit home baking. An insider told The Bugle “Flour sales spiked on the 28th March meaning peak baking was probably around 4th April. With people being sat around

There was an unexpected boost for a Barnsley garden centre this week as it became the first in the UK to stock the Dog Shit Bush. The bush (Latin name: Turdus Inplasticus) is a common sight in the wild but has not been previously available commercially Trevor Clunge, owner of Barnsley Plantpots in Wombwell says

A new study commissioned by The Bugle has exposed the shocking state of rainbow pictures posted in windows during the current global pandemic. The paintings, which have been posted in support of the NHS during the crisis have been widely praised, but our study reveals a worrying trend. “Let’s be honest, most of them are

In what many will see as a radical but sensible move, the government last night announced that the traditional seven days of the week are to be streamlined into a new simpler system in which every day is either Binday or Otherday. The new system will come into effect at the beginning of May. With

The precarious state of the market for shampoo and other personal grooming products was laid bare this morning after it was revealed that is now almost totally reliant on the existence of FaceTime and Zoom. A report from The Institute Of Soap and That revealed that since the lockdown hair washing is only taking place

A Barnsley man who is missing visits to his local during lockdown, is recreating the authentic pub experience by spilling his own pint and then punching himself in the face, it has been revealed. Keith Clunge from Wombwell says the unusual practice is making social isolation all the more bearable. “Yes you can have a

Jihadists have become the latest victims of the Coronavirus this morning as terrorist leaders decided it was no longer practical to work from home. The difficulties inherent in waging holy war from your DFS sofa have forced leaders to make the difficult decision to furlough all jihadists with immediate effect. “We thought it might work

A Barnsley-based dressing gown manufacturer became the latest victim of the Coronavirus outbreak this morning when it was forced into receivership. The company had been pinning survival hopes on its latest School Gates range, but with schools not returning after the Easter break, local mums have not been exchanging their winter going out dressing gowns

A Barnsley man has abandoned ambitious plans to change his undercrackers following the announcement of a three week extension to the UK lockdown. Colin Clunge from Wombwell was hopeful the lockdown would end today, and had drawn up a detailed plan involving a shower, a shave and a complete change of underwear, but his carefully